Mute Weirdo Cat

by Lauren
(Melbourne, Australia)

My mute weirdo cat

My mute weirdo cat! I adopted Harley from a shelter when she was about three months old. i had never owned a cat before so i had no idea she was weird until my cat-owning friends started staring at her with puzzled faces!

first of all she is a mute cat. she has never purred or made a proper meow. if she was hungry she would sit on a little box near her bowl and make a little squeak 'mipp' noise. she could also make a crying noise if she was put into her carrier. i recently moved into a small apartment on my own, and she has started trying to talk more. she can now make a longer noise, kind of a hybrid of her cry and her squeak. but she only does it for two reasons, if i have just arrived home or if i have gone to bed, and even then its only a few little squeaks in a row.

I trained her as though i would a dog, with either praise or sharp words, so she doesn't scratch or climb on anything she isn't allowed to. i later learned that most people train their cats by squirting water at them. i doubt this would have had the same effect on Harley, she loves water. she rolls around and sleeps in the shower and is always coming up for a cuddle with a wet head after sticking it under a dripping tap or whatnot, which doesn't bother her in the slightest.

she have also never played with toys properly. i bought her a bunch of furry mouse toys and kept having to buy more cos they would disappear. one day i discovered them all under the lounge while vacuuming. i pulled them out for her, but within a few days she had hidden them all back under there again.
if i dangle a toy in front of her, she will flip on her back, pull the toy in for a big bear hug and proceed to lick the toy for ages. its kinda frustrating because i want her to play and bat them around and be silly but she is only interested in cuddling and licking her toys.

she is also intrigued by my toilet. every time i go in and she hears me sit down, she will race in and sit at my feet watching me only to bolt the second she hears the flush. her own litter habits are very noisy, she will obsessively kick her litter over and over again until she is scratching at the bottom of the tray. before i bought a jumbo tray to catch it, there were litter crystals on the carpet within a meter of her tray in every direction.

she is quite convinced my bed is for sharing sleeping shifts with her. she will rarely sleep with me at night, but in the morning she will jump around until i get up and then promptly settle in my place to nap for the rest of the day. i only sleep on one side of my double bed, and she will only do the same, preferably with her head on my pillow so she can leave some hairs for night time presents.

I love her though, my adorable little mute weirdo cat. i once left her with a friend for a month while i was on holiday, and i called and got her to put me on speakerphone to say hello to Harley. apparently the poor thing lept up looking for me all confused and came over trying to nuzzle the phone. i felt so guilty i didn't dare do it again!

Anyone else have mute weirdo cats or kittens that do this stuff?