Cats and Coronas

by Michael Coral
(PDX Orygun)

I have two cats. Both are strange. On the one hand, the man of the house is a quasi queer kitty who leans towards make up, hand bags and randomly sniffs, eats and pukes the flowers that I buy my girlfriend as a nice gesture.

When these bundles of furry joy arrived at my pad, I was so enthused to have something to cuddle up with when no other prospects were presenting themselves. For the first couple of months I didn't see any unusual behaviors. As kittens they played, stayed up all night, tore my possessions into shreds and refused to cough up a cent.

When I find my cat starring at himself (I think) into plastic for what seems like hours, I have to wonder about the psyche of my friendly feline. He just seems to get a little weirder each day. Maybe I don't play with him enough.. or he is highly inebriated by the constant deflowering of cannabis buds that takes place around him. I'll feel guilty if found so by the jury but I swear it isn't the pot, man.

The point I'm trying to make is simple, my cats aren't right in the head. Don't get me wrong, they are the sweetest furry friends you could ever want but with some wacky quirks. Help them, and me, as I am off to more coronas. Adios.

Cats starring video added